Exploring vs Exploiting: A lesson on rest 💤

As my therapist has said to me time and time again - if you don’t understand your limits and boundaries, the very thing God gave you as a gift, will begin to feel like a curse.

Regret: The comparison of what you actually did with what would have been best in hindsight.

At this stage in my nomadic journey, I’ve traveled to 9 countries excluding London as it’s been operating as my home base. 

1. Barcelona

2. Paris

3. Belgium

4. Vienna

5. Prague

6. Budapest

7. Berlin

8. Marrakech

9. Malta 

When I set out on this journey, the plan was to do 6 countries within 6 months; crazy enough I’ve done 9 in 3. The first world dilemma that I find myself up against now is whether I continue to travel to more countries given I’m on a bit of fixed time or do I stay put in London and relish in the community I’ve been able to create.  

One thought is to keep going because when else will I be able to be as free as I am now to explore without major responsibility? I’m stationed in London, travel is easy, and I’m not needed physically anywhere; so keep racking up the countries. The other thought is to slow down and get back to nourishing the people and places I’ve fallen in love with in London. To actually enjoy the place I uprooted my old life for. 

I’m explaining this scenario to my cousin who makes it known every time we talk to not take advice from him. He instead, recommends I read a book called Algorithms To Live By, specifically the chapter regarding the concept of exploring vs. exploiting. Honestly, this couldn’t have been better advice (90% of the recent I do always opt-in to call him lol). 

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This read was a cheat code. The book essentially identifies the science of human decision-making and how most things can be solved by algorithms. It involves a lot of statistics but for the sake of the newsletter, I’ll keep it high-level. 

The two frameworks that stood out as aids in my decision-making process were:

1. Explore vs exploit

2. Regret minimization

Explore vs Exploit:

The author Brian Christian explains exploration is gathering information, and exploiting is using the information you have to get a known good result. Explore when you have time to use the resulting knowledge and exploit when you’re ready to cash in.

The example he further uses is movie and production studios. When exploring, movie studios invest in original concepts, experiment with new storytelling techniques, or cast lesser-known actors, which can lead to breakthrough hits and the creation of new franchises. When looking to exploit, studios produce sequels, prequels, or spin-offs of successful franchises or adapt popular books or comics as a means for consistent box office returns and a loyal fan base.

So my updated language became, do you want to exploit London or explore Europe? Then this brought me to framework number two.

Regret minimization:

Jeff Bezos developed this approach and essentially he says to imagine yourself in the future and look back on a decision you are about to make. If you will regret not having taken a certain action, then you should take that action. The author further defines regret as the comparison of what you actually did with what would have been best in hindsight.

This was extremely important because I didn’t want to have come all this way and regret any part of my experience. 

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After a week of breaking down each potential avenue that might have landed me in a regret-ridden state, the solution I landed on was exploiting London. The big factors that went into this were:

1. Energy levels

2. Appreciation

3. Community

As you can imagine, it is exhausting physically traveling, working, and then actually going out and immersing yourself in a country’s culture; adding to that the extra energy it takes to be fully aware of your surroundings and exude comfortability at all times as a solo traveler. It has taken a toll on me. 

My lower energy level has also dampened my appreciation for the countries that I have continued to visit. This was again something I didn’t expect but definitely makes sense.

To be completely honest, I spent 10 days in Vienna and the first 4 of those days sleeping. I extended the trip twice in an effort to build up the energy and care to visit places like the Vienna Opera House and go on excursions like a wine tour through the vineyards - both of which Vienna is renowned for. However, I slept through the Opera, canceled the wine tour, only spent around 20 minutes at the Schönbrunn Palace before leaving, and even stopped smiling in pictures at museums, which I usually love.

After returning to London, I made the mental note that I didn’t ever want to be in a position like that, where I no longer appreciated the things I prayed and sacrificed for. 

As my therapist has said to me - if you don’t understand your limits and boundaries, the very thing God gave you as a gift, will begin to feel like a curse. Truer words have never been spoken!

This brings me to community. Places are memorable but it’s the people that make them special. I am so fortunate to have found a community that refuels me. My tribe consists of friends, a yoga studio, a record store where one employee sets aside 2 vinyls for me each week, and a coffee shop that feels like home. This exists simply because I put the time in to cultivate it. 

I came to the conclusion that there will always be places to travel and things to see. My people, however, I would regret not savoring them while I can.  

I know this newsletter was a bit longer but if you made it to the end, thanks for reading! If you happen to use either of the frameworks above, let me know how they worked out for you!

With love always,

Jamie ✈️ 🌎

Questions I’m thinking through:

• What are some things in London I want to do but haven’t?

Links I’m loving:

• Algorithms to Live By - Book