Starting Over: Form follows function
I loudly acknowledge that change introduces new forms of failure and new doors we don’t always know how to handle; so as we work to build new systems, let us be conscious of how/when/if we revert back
Component: a smaller self-contained piece of a bigger system.
I promise this is the last time I’ll have a prolonged absence like this. As it turns out, starting over is exhausting and extremely time-consuming. The type of tiredness I’ve been recovering from is not the kind that a few weekends off the grid can fix, but the type that requires an entire system incognito reboot.
Life update:
In the past three months, I have moved from Michigan to Washington, D.C., started a new job, moved both in and out of corporate housing, and have spent the last few weeks unpacking my life that has been in storage for a year. Whew.
In tandem with unpacking my physical things (thank God we can finally put those two suitcases away!!), I have also been emotionally, financially, and spiritually overtaken by the remnants of an old life and attempting to understand the markings of a new one since returning.
Really, I am just trying to come to terms with my current reality. June 1st I was LITERALLY touching down from Europe after months of waking up and going wherever my heart desired, and by July 6th I was on a flight to D.C., badging into an office, in a city I never planned to come to. Like, huh?
My first month in D.C. honestly felt like a simulation. It all felt temporary; still does. I felt completely checked out of my life, being guided solely by my subconscious, and simply experiencing something I would eventually move on from, just like I had been moving in and out of countries earlier this year.
Now that some fog has cleared, I can see I was operating in the system I had created for myself while being nomadic.
I had built a near-perfect system that enabled me to quickly conquer a city within a short period of time and make it my home. The system I’d built allowed me to know exactly what I needed to do to meet acquaintances, find my go-to places, set up shop, and explore the must-see attractions in a limited time. I had learned how to form a connection but not get too attached to where it would hold me up from moving to the next place.
I had operated very easily on that system for 6 months. It was how I survived. But that's the thing, I am now working to create real roots and that system is not designed for success in this new part of life!
Why is starting over so exhausting? Tension from failing systems.
If you ask an engineer why a system fails, an answer you may hear is due to “component failure.” In many complex systems, there are numerous interconnected components, and if one or more of these components fails, it can disrupt the entire system.
Another thing to note is that component failure can occur by traumatic overloading, as a result of poor design, incorrect material selection, manufacturing defects, or environmental factors.
I mention this because like me, some of y’all are currently struggling because your system is jacked and on the brink of component failure. My current system was not designed for permanent living, all the elements in my life changed, and I’m in a completely new environment. Can we say traumatic overloading?
At any stage where component/s are changing in your life, there’s a chance you’ll either need to tweak your system or completely redesign it because “things function at their best when used as intended by the design.” That’s the thing I’ll always remember from reading The Designs of Everyday Things.
It’s so simple but game-changing when you think about it.
When starting over, new systems need to be put into place, new thoughts, new habits, new routines, new relationships… you get my point. This is the part I am at that is causing exhaustion. I’m still in the process of a new design and will share more as I feel more qualified to do so.
So I’ll end with this…
I will loudly acknowledge that change introduces new forms of failure and new doors we don’t always know how to handle (I’ll talk more on this next time); so as we work to build new systems, let us be conscious of how/when/if we revert back to what’s comfortable, although outdated, instead of working through the unknowns of the new.
Remember, it is a process! Give yourself some time and grace.
With love always,
Jamie ✈️ 🌎
Questions I’m thinking through:
What did I really enjoy about my old system?
What new things do I want to incorporate and make time for in this new system?
What does this new design need to enable me to accomplish?
What pillars are you making your decisions on?
Links I’m loving:
Component Failure - Article
How complex systems fail - Article